No FOOD! (okay, okay there was food just not junk food)

I have never been the type of person to snack in the evening (now during the day at my desk... different story of course!) When I grocery shop, I rarely get any "junk" food for myself. Mr. Husband and step-children love chocolate, I do not. So mostly all our snack food consist of chocolate in some shape or form, ice cream, cookies, pudding, etc. None of those appeal to me. At all. I buy hearts of palm, baby corn (don't ask), tuna packets, dried veggies, rice cakes, and blue corn chips to have for work. (Disclaimer: I do NOT eat healthy, I just pretend that I do when grocery shopping). 

A while back, I thought I should buy myself a few things just in case I had the urge to snack one day. No one here likes the food that I like anyway so I figured it was a safe bet. I wanted Fruity Pebble cereal and grape jelly (these weird people only eat strawberry jam, who does not eat grape jelly!) After a few weeks of the shopping trip, I skipped dinner one night and was craving a PB and jelly sandwich. I walked into the kitchen, took out the peanut butter and bread, then excitedly went to the fridge to take out the jelly. At this point, I'm looking forward to warm toast and melted PB and jelly. MMMM! Delicious! And its not there. We are talking a few weeks people! WHERE WAS MY JELLY!!?? I searched high and low, there was no jelly. My small jar was gone. VANISHED! Gone. Step-children, who previously only liked strawberry jam had finished my jelly. (We had two jars of strawberry jam, in case you are wondering). Bummer. But I'll eat some Fruity Pebbles, I thought. Step-children and Mr. Husband do not like them so surely my "Family Size" box is there. Nope. The box is gone. There is no box. There is no cereal. Not even an empty box, which truthfully was amazing, normally they leave empty boxes in the pantry. Sigh. 

I'm far from greedy. I will share everything I own. This isn't about not wanting to share. Its just purely about the hilarity in the situation. I did eat toast with PB however and I added honey. I pretended it was grape jelly. I have the imagination of a 5 year old, I can pretend all day!  I have yet to buy any more grape jelly or Fruity Pebbles. But the next time I do, I will make sure I eat some of it the next day. Then step-children and Mr. Husband can eat it all they want. Or maybe, I'll just compromise and start eating their snacks. Too bad its all chocolate and chocolate is not my thing. Maybe I should just start labeling my food, as in work fridge labeling.

It Burns So Good!

I might have an addiction. I'm ashamed. It consumes my days. I.Can.Not.Stop.It. It might one day ruin my health or the very least ruin my relationship... with water. Its soda, OK. Don't judge me. I was never really a soda drinker. Ever. But now, I'm this crazed mad woman when I do not have this wonderful drink in my system. For many years, I would enjoy a regular Dr. Pepper or Diet Dr. Pepper every once in awhile but that is it. Regular CocaCola was just not on my radar, I refused to even give it the time of day. And Diet Coke was and is just gross. Apparently though, my taste buds change every so many years. (Hmmm, now I must Google why that is and exactly how often, I need to know these things!) Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper were losing their flavor. So one day about 2 years ago, at my previous job, I strolled to the cafe we had downstairs in search of caffeine. I decided to buy a CocaCola Zero, I mean how much would I even like it. I took it back to my desk and thought, five drinks to get my perk and I'll be done. People let me tell you, angels sang when I took my first drink! It was perfect. It was calorie-less, it was cold, it had caffeine but the ultimate factor was that burn, I love the burn, it burns so good! With that drink, my dependency was born. I'm a snob when it comes to CZ -- Hello pet name, all my loves have them! -- I don't have time for anything else and I certainly will not cheat on my love. I need at least one everyday, maybe more. I quickly learned that not all places have or serve CZ . Its a crime really and I'm seriously thinking about creating a petition to make it a law for every establishment to sell and serve it. Just trust me when I say that no one will ever understand my excitement at restaurants when I hear the glorious words, "Yes we do do have Coke Zero". I want to dance and clap and screech, "AWESOME, I love you Wait-person!" but instead, I  just smile and ask to keep them coming.  I know its horrible for me, I am not in denial. I know I should grab water at lunch instead but WHYYYYY? It taste so so good. It doesn't have a black box warning. Nor gross posters displaying the horror of the sweet, caramel colored, chemical laced, carbonated water concoction. At least not yet. I realize that 50 years ago, people felt this way about cigarettes so maybe in 50 years, I'll regret drinking so many. Or maybe I'll be in a commercial telling all the young people of the dangers and effects it can cause. However, for right now I will drink it as I finish this post and enjoy it's goodness. 50 years is really a long time away anyway.

Finally, I Find the Words

I figured it was way past time for me to start a blog, I mean I need to be famous soon, you know before the wrinkles start to really show. And plus, I think everyone knows I have way too to much to talk about to just have a phone or texting conversation. It would take me about fifty text messages just to tell someone what I had for lunch. However, despite it being way past time that I start blogging, I seriously have no idea what to blog about. Most bloggers have babies or teenagers, or sandwiches, or awesome photographs*, or recipes to share, or they travel the world, or they are super intelligent and creative. Well friends (the whole 2 of you out there), welcome to my boring, random, uneducated blog. Just take a look around though and notice the calm, you see, I may not be any of the awesomeness stated above but my life is a total soap opera. I am the second wife. I have two adult step children (who for the time, are living with us). And there is an ex-wife. Mr. Husband and I have been married for a little over a year. I've never been married previously nor do I have any children, so this creates a unique situation. Never a dull moment. I did however come with an ADHD dog. Oh and I feed homeless cats. Seriously guys, who else would feed them, I feel so bad for them! I know, I'm one bad day away from being that lady with a cat hoarding problem. Can you imagine? I try to ignore them and I can't, it must be some sort of mental problem. (Notice the randomness yet, and why it would take me 50 texts to tell you what I ate for lunch and why this blog was needed.) I should always have something to write about, my mind is so full of useless knowledge, I can share so much!


*Mr. Husband knows that I would LOVE a brand new camera to use on this little blog, I mean how else can y'all see the world as I see it without pictures! Its really not an option at this point now is it Mr. Husband?